Of Lovers and Assassins

You could say Lovers and Assassins are very similar – two sides of the same card.

To be a great lover you stalk your lover, learn intricately and intimately about their nuances so as to weave a compelling courtship that is worthy of the life and duration of your relationship.

To be a great assassin, it is more than killing, it is getting in close, gaining confidence, divining the ultimate moment to decisively take life.

Great artists and actors do the same, inhabiting their muse or character. It is the art of closeness and intimacy and can be infinitely refined. To gain confidence we must reveal deeper parts of ourselves, and negotiate fusion and separation.

In any relationship it is only a matter of time before we have to negotiate separation. As Lovers we must part to sustain our lives. This happens along a spectrum of micro to macro separations.

In the beginning, when the arc of our lives meet, there is communion and rejoicing. When our arcs part, we must discern whether the container of our relationship is big enough, and strong enough to hold ‘us’ enough, in both our wellness.

When the arcs of our lives first depart in a major way, there is often rupture, hurt, and sense of betrayal. A covenant may be broken. We can feel like the assassin, or the assassinated. Sometimes this is the end of the relationship. Sometimes it is the beginning. Revealed are the deeper bonds and differences sustaining you both or not.