Hello Tiger! Hello Mouse!
I want to share a little bit about anxiety and depression because I have a personal relationship and experience with these two states and, because anxiety and depression have been the most prevalent diagnosed mental health condition in the western world for a number of years.
I’ve gleaned a lot from my personal experiences and work with clients over the years in relation to these two states. There are many ways to view these conditions spanning the private battle grounds of our own personal histories to social and cultural contexts and factors.
I find it all immensely interesting and helping people discover how and where their personal story interfaces with social and cultural factors is especially rewarding. I hope to write more on this at a future date.
For this article I am going to focus on some biological information I have found very helpful.
Anxiety and some aspects of depression are reflected in the natural and primal defensive states of our nervous systems - anxiety corresponding with the up of fight/flight and depression with the down of overwhelm/collapse and immobilisation.
When things are going well we have corollary up and down states in our nervous systems. Up corresponds with excitement, creativity, playfulness, and arousal and down corresponds with safety, security, relaxation, feeling blissed out - think post a really good massage or bath.
A key point is that the autonomic pre-conscious appraisal systems of our body are deeply and primally wired to activate these states if they register or perceive threat. We don’t have any control over this initial response. Think of your up/anxiety response as your inner wild spirit animal! A tiger, bear or horse! And your down/some aspects of depression as your inner mouse.
There is not much we can do here except be grateful for this amazing system because it is our best chance of getting us out of real trouble if we are ever in it!
It’s worth taking time to really get this because we often make the mistake of trying to fight it! I still do after 30 years of knowing about this system! I still act out of the delusion that maybe I can beat this hard wired response.
Why? Because it is mostly inconvenient in everyday social and functional situations. It doesn’t go along with the program of how I want to be or act. Believe me when I say you have no chance fighting this part of yourself, your wild spirit animal, or your inner mouse when it’s activated.
Your best chance is to become their whisperer. Accept they are always going to be walking with you and your job is to whisper to them. It can be an amazing exercise to walk around town imagining you have your ‘wild tiger’ walking with you! Or your little mouse! Experiment with being specifically attuned to them and observe how they react to all the stimulation and situations! How quickly your tiger is ready to flare into wild savagery or how quickly your inner mouse is ready to scurry and hide or go limp with immobility.
This can be quite enlightening and relieving to really get in touch with these parts of yourself.
The game changer is becoming friends - you’re here to whisper, educate and coach - helping them to adapt. They are here to protect you or deactivate you so you go off the radar.
It is something we have to work with. Berating ourselves for being too activated or deactivated only crushes us more. At this point our protective nervous systems have taken over and what we need most is not to be opposing them creating a sense of more threat and unsafety. Think of the difference between having someone close to you berating you versus having an understanding and compassionate companion!
It’s very powerful just recognising them within yourself as your nervous systems response, it helps you to go easier with them. Having a deeper felt understanding and appreciation helps shift the response and state. Our nervous systems don’t want to stay in defense mode they are just wanting to protect us. Over time this builds up and you develop a rich relationship with these parts of yourself. You become their whisperer and they are able to serve you more effectively.
It is possible to recognise these states as they naturally occur even in subtle ways and develop our capacity to talk to them and work with them more.
This is the axis shift – accepting these are hard wired pre-conscious biological responses -they are going to happen and we don’t have control over them. Shifting our axis will gradually change our relationship to ourselves and help us steward ourselves more effectively through our lives.